Isaiah 42:3: "A bruised reed He will not break and a
smoldering wick he will not snuff out!"
I've always tried to take "the look ahead" approach in life. Forget what's behind, press forward, move on, block out. Some people for more reasons than not, choose not to dwell on the failures or distressing events that have happened in running or in life. I think this is really good for the
most part. But sometimes it's good to look back, and being in certain places can't help but spark some of those tough memories that we try to forget. I raced here at Stanford 5 years ago for the first time in the prestigious Payton Jordan Invitational. It was my first year running for Zap Fitness
Running Club and really,.... my first year as a competitive runner. I had played soccer and basketball my whole life and really had no idea what I was getting myself into in the world of "Elite" running. I had prayed about the transition from soccer to track, and felt like I had a confirmation
from God that He was with me and would guide me through any attempt I would make to be an "Elite" runner.(whatever "Elite" meant:)) Thanks to Pete Rea and Zap Fitness, in 2006, I learned a lot about how to train and race. And so that is how in 2007, I gained the opportunity to run in a 1500m and also a 5k at Stanford in the very prestigious Payton Jordan Invitational. Looking back now, my times of 4:21 and 16:17, were not too bad considering how new everything was.
The season continued on after that and things were going well. Stuff started to click, and I qualified for 2007 Nationals in my first attempt at the 3k Steeplechase. But then ....a blow!! One devastating fall that changed what I had thought was a chance to continue my athletic career. I tripped in the water pit in my Second Steeplechase race ever. The talus bone on my ankle literally chipped off and I lost enough cartilage the surgeon would describe as the size of a large ice cream scoop!!! To rush through the next 3 years and get through this blog, lets just say I had A LOT of reasons to quit. A major surgery ironically at Stanford University to replace bone, financial complications in not being able to work and pay for all the surgery, and countless problems with running gait and injury once I finally did try to make a comeback. One year after the surgery and I still couldn't walk without lingering pain. 2 years after the surgery and I still couldn't run without pain. I spent COUNTLESS hours in the pool and on the bike,.... but the big question remained. Is this all worth it?
Throughout my surgery here at Stanford University, I read and wrote about a verse in my journal that said: "A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out." (Isaiah 42:3) It was here in Palo Alto, 5 years ago, that that verse hit me hard!!! I didn't really know what it all meant or how it would prove true in my life, but I knew I was bruised in so many ways ....more than just physically! There were so many events and situations over the following 3 years that begged me to quit and move on from running or any sport for that matter. But God kept impressing on my heart through that verse, that I may be bruised in sport and in life, but I was not broken!! I think being forced to slow down and step back due to injury, can truly effect any hard core athlete. Having such a major one, made me have to deal with lots of other things in my life.
By 2009, mentally I was starting to come around, but physically, a lot of things had to change. Changing my running form, doing certain core exercises to stay aligned, and discovering Newton shoes and forefoot landing were KEY in helping me to come back and be able to run again. So in 2010, 3 years after the surgery, I started racing in the 3k Steeplechase again and also hit
the roads in a variety of distances. I have been absolutely blessed to be able to compete again injury free and with a new ankle bone. Over the past 12 months, I have raced a bunch in the Steeplechase for track, been in over 25 road races and have recently had the opportunity to represent Team Alchemy and Newton Shoe Company. Of course, like any injured runner can understand who tries to make a comeback, there have been some good performances, some bad ones and some that were just ok. And yes the ankle still hurts and is stiff at times. But,... and big BUT, I can honestly say for myself that at the end of the day, no matter what happens in a race, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. We all have setbacks. We all want to quit when it might not be the right time. But I say don't until you know for sure,...... until you have a peace that it's time to move on to the next thing. The last 2 and a half years that I have been able to run again, has brought me to see and experience so many beautiful places and people, that if tonight were my last race, I still would say that Isaiah 42:3 has proved true. I was not broken or snuffed out. I'm
still here.
smoldering wick he will not snuff out!"
I've always tried to take "the look ahead" approach in life. Forget what's behind, press forward, move on, block out. Some people for more reasons than not, choose not to dwell on the failures or distressing events that have happened in running or in life. I think this is really good for the
most part. But sometimes it's good to look back, and being in certain places can't help but spark some of those tough memories that we try to forget. I raced here at Stanford 5 years ago for the first time in the prestigious Payton Jordan Invitational. It was my first year running for Zap Fitness
Running Club and really,.... my first year as a competitive runner. I had played soccer and basketball my whole life and really had no idea what I was getting myself into in the world of "Elite" running. I had prayed about the transition from soccer to track, and felt like I had a confirmation
from God that He was with me and would guide me through any attempt I would make to be an "Elite" runner.(whatever "Elite" meant:)) Thanks to Pete Rea and Zap Fitness, in 2006, I learned a lot about how to train and race. And so that is how in 2007, I gained the opportunity to run in a 1500m and also a 5k at Stanford in the very prestigious Payton Jordan Invitational. Looking back now, my times of 4:21 and 16:17, were not too bad considering how new everything was.
The season continued on after that and things were going well. Stuff started to click, and I qualified for 2007 Nationals in my first attempt at the 3k Steeplechase. But then ....a blow!! One devastating fall that changed what I had thought was a chance to continue my athletic career. I tripped in the water pit in my Second Steeplechase race ever. The talus bone on my ankle literally chipped off and I lost enough cartilage the surgeon would describe as the size of a large ice cream scoop!!! To rush through the next 3 years and get through this blog, lets just say I had A LOT of reasons to quit. A major surgery ironically at Stanford University to replace bone, financial complications in not being able to work and pay for all the surgery, and countless problems with running gait and injury once I finally did try to make a comeback. One year after the surgery and I still couldn't walk without lingering pain. 2 years after the surgery and I still couldn't run without pain. I spent COUNTLESS hours in the pool and on the bike,.... but the big question remained. Is this all worth it?
Throughout my surgery here at Stanford University, I read and wrote about a verse in my journal that said: "A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out." (Isaiah 42:3) It was here in Palo Alto, 5 years ago, that that verse hit me hard!!! I didn't really know what it all meant or how it would prove true in my life, but I knew I was bruised in so many ways ....more than just physically! There were so many events and situations over the following 3 years that begged me to quit and move on from running or any sport for that matter. But God kept impressing on my heart through that verse, that I may be bruised in sport and in life, but I was not broken!! I think being forced to slow down and step back due to injury, can truly effect any hard core athlete. Having such a major one, made me have to deal with lots of other things in my life.
By 2009, mentally I was starting to come around, but physically, a lot of things had to change. Changing my running form, doing certain core exercises to stay aligned, and discovering Newton shoes and forefoot landing were KEY in helping me to come back and be able to run again. So in 2010, 3 years after the surgery, I started racing in the 3k Steeplechase again and also hit
the roads in a variety of distances. I have been absolutely blessed to be able to compete again injury free and with a new ankle bone. Over the past 12 months, I have raced a bunch in the Steeplechase for track, been in over 25 road races and have recently had the opportunity to represent Team Alchemy and Newton Shoe Company. Of course, like any injured runner can understand who tries to make a comeback, there have been some good performances, some bad ones and some that were just ok. And yes the ankle still hurts and is stiff at times. But,... and big BUT, I can honestly say for myself that at the end of the day, no matter what happens in a race, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. We all have setbacks. We all want to quit when it might not be the right time. But I say don't until you know for sure,...... until you have a peace that it's time to move on to the next thing. The last 2 and a half years that I have been able to run again, has brought me to see and experience so many beautiful places and people, that if tonight were my last race, I still would say that Isaiah 42:3 has proved true. I was not broken or snuffed out. I'm
still here.